The one who changed my life forever began to affect that change even before he arrived. In my womb he helped me innerstand the true connection of spirit and being one with one another. I shared with him and talked to him in a way I had never shared with anyone before. I knew and was fully conscious of the fact that he knew me inside and out, literally and figuratively. He felt what I felt and he saw from the inside the effect that life had on me. He was an internal witness to my pain and my joys, but during this time, those 9 months, there was mostly pain. He got the full impact of that. He saw what that pain did to my body and how it hurt me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He knew me in a complete way that no one else on this earth had yet the opportunity to experience. This internal experience and emotional impact is what help shape who my son Terryl is today. He, being the spirit that he is, determined something about what he needed to be and how to be in order to play out his purpose for his life and his purpose in mine. Others have looked upon him in his 12 out of 14 years of life as being broken in some way, as something that needed to be worked on or fixed and a puzzle to be innerstood. He actually is the most clear, innocent, and pure individual that I have known and experienced with. What I have learned from him and what I continue to learn from him has been invaluable to me. He has changed my life and in fact saved my life. He has given me direction and one of my purposes in this life. The things that are viewed as his challenges or disability is actually the vehicle which shows me and the world what needs to be corrected and he even has the wisdom to show how. I thank God for the grace, patience and sight to see and translate so that us mere mortals can decifer the message and apply it in a way that we can innerstand. I call him master teacher, cause that is what he is. How many do we have among us that we do not recognize or that we mischaracterize? Do we really innerstand the wonderful opportunity our children provide to us just through the very nature of how they came to be and their make-up? This is most apparent with the mother-child connection because of the pregnancy journey, but is also true with the father and even more so if the father is present during this 9 month period...but even if he is not, the child still feels and knows because that child is made up of the very stuff that you are, so how could they not know you and feel you? This does not change once they exit into the world, we just take the illusion of being separate even further and become strangers over time if we do not realize the truth. If we are fully aware and conscious, there is so much that our children will show us about who we are and have potential to be. I say ‘will’ not ‘can’ because this happens naturally, it just is. There is nothing that they have to consciously think about or will, they just do what comes naturally to them. If we pay attention, the very things that we object to or complain about with are children, are instructive in some way—not for them, for us. I had this realization recently and it was a humbling experience. I had to admit that I was out of order and correct myself! How often do we see our parenting role and relationship with our children in that way?
To be continued...
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